Imaginal Discs

Now that it’s officially fall, I find myself reflecting on the hurried end of summer. Maybe it is the many changes that have occurred in these past few weeks… moving houses… the start of school… but I have caught myself stopping at post after post of the “home-grown” monarch butterflies that have been fluttering through my “news”feed (a welcome break from the madness of other current events).

I was even inspired to watch a captivating show about how butterflies are “born” – and the secret to their magical transformation, of course, is more science than sorcery… even though it sounds pretty wizard-like to me. Scientists have discovered that the key lies in their “imaginal discs” (something like stem cells in humans). Each set of “discs” helps develop an individual part of the butterfly as it changes. How cool is that?

(I also took one of those “Which animal do you see first?” personality quizzes and saw the butterfly first. Apparently it means that I am “soft and gentle, etc.” but have gone through “dark times” – like in a cocoon. Seems about right, ha!)

And, as if the symbolism of butterflies wasn’t already relevant enough, it is even more significant in light of my experience this evening. I was once again being asked to imagine what “change” might look like, by taking a good look at myself (actually through myself) – to my own discs… spinal discs, to be exact. Maybe this post should be called “Chiro Conundrum” instead? Ha.

It always fascinates me – the beginning of a commitment (that is within our control). Sometimes the motivation is spiritual first, and then becomes an emotional reaction, that requires a mental plan and a physical response. Sometimes it is exactly the reverse.

Tonight, the “physical” start of this change took me by surprise… staring at the “dis-ease” of my body… right there in black and white. My mental process wasn’t far behind – all of the thoughts of appointment times, expenses, etc. Which kick-started the emotional spinning of how a mother of two small children can really balance self-care with the care of others (Dang, I almost made it through a post without mentioning my kids!)

So now, here I sit at the spiritual crossroads of the evening. The “faith” part. To me, the hardest part. Hebrews 11:1 says – “Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen.”

This, I have found, is actually my millstone – the infinite possibilities of imagination. 

This is what often paralyzes my ability to move forward… to believe in the “imaginal” (in a positive sense). Ah, the true heart of the matter – is putting so much emphasis on the power of “imagination” to illuminate something, always good? Or is this our true challenge as we get older – to let our lighthearted imagining outweigh our heavy experience with reality? Is that always positive?

The struggle for transformation really can’t be sugar-coated, I suppose… Did I mention that giving up sugar was also recommended by the doctor? Oof.

Is “imagination” just a sugar-coated stand-in for real faith (with “empty calories”)?

What is the relationship between conscious choices and our imagination “running away” with us? How much of what we “imagine” is even under our own influence (and/or control)?

I have done enough “change” at this point to know that it can take immense effort… and to be thoroughly confused by mysterious changes that seem to happen with little-to-no effort at all.

(And there is always the decision NOT to change… which is a choice in itself.)

And I have experienced enough failure (and witnessed enough “failure” of others) to know that even the smallest accomplishment can take years of dedication… and re-dedication.

In the midst of it all, I want to believe that the details of science and spirit that escape our simple reasoning, are not obstacles, but gateways… for thoughtful questioning… for change…

STILL… if faith is the substance of hope and the evidence (which, according to Super Why, is, ‘a clue that helps you solve a mystery’) of the unseen – where does that leaving our imagining? How vital is our imagination in relation to change? (Or should it be “imaginaction” – because visualizing change is only the beginning, ha)?

Is “I Can Only Imagine” more of a catalyst, or a detriment to our faith?

Is acting “in faith” more pro-active or reactive?

It seems to me that empathy for others also requires a certain imagination. So perhaps, you could empathize with me in my search for a milestone here.

What do we do when it seems too much is “left to the imagination”… (Oh, the monsters our minds can create…)? Or are we really only “faithful” when things we “can’t imagine” are happening…?

I imagine, the butterflies question it all far less. Maybe that is their real magic…